obsession
by Surreal Reality
Summary: Tori's infatuation with Jade escalates and spins out of control, eventually putting Jade's life at stake.
1. jealousy

**A/N: Okay. First of all, Beck does NOT exist in this fic. If that bothers you, too bad. Don't read it. Other than that, Enjoy!**

* * *

**tori.**

"Hi, Jade!" I say cheerfully, waving as the familiar dark-haired girl with pearl white skin enters the classroom. She responds with an eye roll and bumps into me lightly with her shoulder as she walks past me. _Someone's grumpy today,_ I think to myself. Then again, Jade's always grumpy.

She takes a seat next to Cat in the front row, which surprises me, since her usual seat is near the back of the room, but I ignore it. Andre's absent today, so I sit next to Robbie in the third row from the back.

"Hey, sweet thang," Robbie says as he moves Rex's mouth. That dumb puppet is so annoying. But I'd never say that to Robbie's face. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

"Hi, Robbie." I give him a half smile. "And Rex," I add with a glance at the dummy.

Me and Robbie slip in to casual conversation which gradually blends in with the hum of voices filling the room. I cast occasional glances at Jade and Cat. They're talking, just like any other day, but something seems different. They're sitting so close to each other, and Cat has one hand on Jade's thigh. And Jade is _smiling,_ a genuine smile, out of happiness. A negative feeling is pricking at me. It can't be jealousy.

I'm not jealous...

...Am I?

No, no I'm not.

Sikowitz enters the room with a jubilant "Good morning, class!" and the buzz of chatter dies down as he tells us today's agenda.

* * *

"Tori, guess what!"

After class, as I'm gathering my stuff to leave, I hear Cat's excited, high-pitched voice behind me.

"What?"

"You have to guess!"

"Okay, okay. Um..." I think for a brief moment.

Before I can say anything, exclaims, "Jade and I are going out!"

"W-what?" Stammering, I look into her big, chocolate brown eyes.

Those are exactly the words I was hoping she wouldn't say. The signs were obvious, I was just hoping it wasn't true. But I play along, acting surprised.

"As in... dating?" I glance at Jade, who doesn't seem to notice me looking at her. Since there's still a few people in the room, I drop my voice to a whisper, and turn back to Cat. "Like... girlfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah!" The bubbly redhead nods vigorously.

My heart drops. I've liked Jade for quite a while. As more than a friend. But I'd always assumed she was straight. Had I known, I would have asked her too go out with _me_. Of course, she would have refused, but...

I force a smile onto my face. "That's great! I hope you two are very happy together." A lump in my throats cuts me off at the end of my sentence. Cat squeals and hugs me tightly, then skips out of the room.

I trudge out behind her, and she runs up to Jade, stands on her toes, and plants a kiss on her cheek.

I feel numb. I wish that was me. So badly.

I guess I am jealous.

* * *

**A/N: So, what do you think?**

**Don't worry, Cade will only be in the first few chapters. Jori will come sooner than you can say "gay."**

**Yeah...**

**I'm not funny.**


	2. nobody's business

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, I'm glad you like it!**

**And the story continues...**

* * *

**jade.**

I hear quick, light footsteps approaching me from behind. Then, soft, warm lips press against my cheek, followed by the faint scent of strawberry lip gloss wafting around me. It's Cat. I turn and wrap my arms around her waist, pressing her body against mine, and plant a sensual kiss on her lips. She withdraws from the kiss and looks into my eyes, giggling childishly.

We've only been dating for a couple of weeks. I don't know what gave her the courage to ask me out, but I'm glad she did. At first, I didn't think she was serious. I thought it was just one of her stupid little games that she'd once again guilted me into playing. But no, this time, it wasn't a game. She loves me, I see that now. When I mull over that fact, I think that maybe, somehow, I feel the same way. But if I do, the feeling is buried deep inside me, and it would take something short of extraordinary to surface it.

What I enjoy most is that she's mine. _My_ girlfriend, only mine. I can do things to her that nobody else can. I can touch her and kiss her and hold her, but no one else can. Only me.

And I want to do all that, Now.

Out the corner of my eye, I see Tori staring at us, hands clasped together. _Annoying bitch. _"What're you staring at, Vega?" I yell towards her. Her arms fall to her sides and she walks in the other direction. While looking up, I also notice a few other people stopping and watching us. Why are they so concerned with what we're doing? "Mind your business!" I snap, and they quickly scatter. That's one advantage of being at the top of the food chain at my school. People do what I want, when I want. My attention goes back to the red-headed girl standing in front of me. "Maybe we should take this somewhere more private." I stroke Cat's cheek and she bites her lip. She's so adorable.

"But... shouldn't we get to class?"

I smirk at her innocence. "Don't worry about it," I respond nonchalantly, wrapping my hand around her wrist and pulling her towards the janitor's closet. She looks so nervous. "Are you sure?" she asks.

We enter through the doorway, and I release her wrist. Then, I shut the door, lock it and flick the light switch. A single light bulb hanging in the center of the room just barely lights up the room. "Yes, I'm sure."

I don't hesitate before striding over to her and locking my lips with hers, taking her face between my hands. She doesn't do anything at first, but soon raises her hands and puts them on my shoulders. No more than a few seconds pass before she's kissing me back. She tastes intoxicatingly sweet.

It's as good as any other make out session, but I can tell Cat's holding back. I separate my mouth from hers, and there's a soft sucking noise as I pull away from her. "Cat... is something wrong?" She shakes her head, averting her eyes from mine. I arch my eyebrows. "Really? It sure seems like it."

She hesitates for a moment. "I-I'm not used to this," she says in her light, feathery voice. "I'm not ready."

I feel a bit defeated, but I give in. I don't want to push her out of her comfort zone unnecessarily. Gently, I turn her face back towards me and put my hand underneath her chin. Her eyes are shining in the dim light. "If you don't want to, we don't have to."

A smile lightens her expression. "Thank you," she whispers. Her arms wrap around me in an embrace, and I feel a warm gust of air as she sighs into the crease of my neck.

* * *

At the sound of the final bell, I rush out of my English class and to my locker. It's Friday, and I can't wait to get out of here. I was planning on spending my night watching _The Scissoring 2: Bloody Blades_. My mom is out of town for the next few weeks on a business trip - being alone, at night, in the dark would make watching the movie even more thrilling.

I slam my locker closed and the scissors stuck in it rattle violently. Tori is standing behind where the locker once was. I groan inwardly. "What do you want?" I ask sharply, crossing my arms and pursing my lips. I really don't have time for her right now.

She looks taken aback, her mouth opening and closing repeatedly. "Spit it out," I say.

"I - uh - sorry," She stammers. "I was just, um, I was wondering if..." She breaks eye contact with me. I roll my eyes and start to walk away.

"No, wait!" I feel her hand on my wrist.

"_Never_ touch me," I say in an extremely dangerous tone, snapping my head back to glare at her. She jerks her hand back as if she just touched something hot.

"Sorry. Anyway, I just wanted to know..." She takes a deep breath and composes herself. "Are you and Cat dating?"

My eyes narrow. "Yes," I say in an even voice. "Why is that any of your concern?"

"I just, you know." Tori laughs nervously. "I was wondering, since you and her, in the hallway, and..."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye." I sidestep her and walk out the door. When I get out to the parking lot, I get in my car and drive home.

* * *

**A/N: Pretty much just a transitioning chapter.**

**I'm gonna try to update on a weekly basis, but with my tendency to procrastinate and my slow writing, that probably won't happen. But I'll try, I really will.**

**So, did you like it? Please review and tell me, It'd be much appreciated!**


	3. just a crush

**A/N: R****eally glad you all are enjoying the story so far. It only gets better from here.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**tori.**

As soon as I get home, I dash upstairs to my room. I don't acknowledge the "Hey, Tori, how was school?" from my mom, who's in the kitchen. I really don't want to talk to her - or anyone - right now. When I get into my room, I slam the door shut. I turn and press my back against the wall, then slide down until I'm sitting on my floor. "Why, why, why, why, why..." I moan, covering my face with my hands.

The girl of my dreams is going out with one of my best friends. I hate this so much. How is it even possible? They're complete opposites. Cat is sweet and optimistic, bright and cheery all the time. Jade is cold, cynical, dark, and negative. They make the the most unlikely pair.

But, of course, opposites attract.

"Fuck," I mutter. The word feels weird on my tongue. I rarely ever curse. I'm really upset.

Just then, an idea pops into my brain.

Maybe Trina could help. She's adequately good at these things. Although my older sister's a bit whorish, she's learned a lot from the numerous relationships she's been in. I think she could give me proper advice, even if this isn't her strong suit.

I force myself to my feet and open the door. She might not be home yet, but if I'm lucky, she is. "Trina?" I call down the hall. "_Trina!_"

"In here!" Luckily, her voice sounds from her room. I speed walk down the hallway and stop at her door, then I peek my head in. Trina is laying on her bed sideways with her head hanging back over the edge. She's filing her nails, and she has her headphones on. The music is playing playing loud enough that I can her it. It's some bubblegum pop song that I've heard on the radio before. I let myself in and stand next to her bed with my hands on my hips. "Can you give me some advice?" I ask.

"What?!" She says in a loud voice. I sigh exasperatedly and pull her headphones off. "I said, can you give me some advice?"

For a brief moment, she casts me a look of disbelief. I don't blame her; I can't remember the last time I asked her for advice. Then, Trina rolls over onto her stomach, taking her headphones back from me and setting them on her dresser, along with the nail file. "Sure, what do you need?"

I sit down next to her on the bed. I have to choose my words carefully; I don't want to give too much away. My personal life should stay personal. "Well, um, I have a friend. And... _he_ likes Jade." Trina nods for me to continue. "But, the thing is, Jade is dating someone else. And he's really upset about it, because likes Jade a _lot._" My eyes drift around the room. "I think he might even love her."

Trina chuckles and moves into a sitting position. "I think you should tell Jade how you feel."

I'm shocked for a moment, and I gape at her, eyes wide. "Me? B-but I said I was talking about my friend!" In a quiet voice, I add, "How did you know?"

She laughs again. "Tori, are you serious? You make it so obvious."

"What? How so?"

"Whenever you talk to her, you stumble over your words and blush. You bring her up randomly in almost every conversation. Every day during lunch, you stare at her from across the table. On days when she's not at school, you ask _everyone_ if they've seen or heard from her. You always look at her in this weird dreamy way. And, you're just plain awful at hiding your feelings."

As much as I want to argue with her, I can't. She's right.

She smirks and resumes filing her nails. "So who's the guy she's dating?"

This is the part I was dreading. I force a laugh, which sounds painfully fake. "Funny thing is, it's not a guy." My sister cocks an eyebrow at me. I avoid her eyes. "It's Cat."

A huge grin crawls its way onto Trina's face. "Well, this just got interesting."

I groan. "Trina!"

"I'm just surprised. I would've never thought Jade was lesbo."

I shake my head. "I don't think she is. She's dated guys before."

"So have you. And yet -" She raises her palms for emphasis. "- here we are!"

"Ugh, I don't know." I flop onto my back. "Maybe she's bi or something."

"And you...?"

"I don't know," I repeat. "She's the first girl I've ever felt this way about. Jade's... different. It could just be a crush."

"Just a crush." Trina blows her long, dusty brown hair out of her face. "If it is 'just a crush,' I can't say I blame you. Jade's hot."

I gasp, sitting up on my elbow.

"What? It's true!"

I sigh. "I know, I know."

Trina makes a clucking noise with her mouth. "Just give it some time. They might break up soon. Till then, just try to focus on other things, 'kay?"

"Okay," I reply, nodding. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Please... don't tell anyone about this conversation."

"Don't worry, I won't." She smiles. "I promise."

I return the smile. Trina may be obnoxious and annoying most of the time, but as my older sister, she always comes through for me in the end.


	4. unspoken words

**jade.**

The next day, me and Cat are strolling down the hall during free period. She's babbling on and on about something her brother did, and I'm not really paying attention; only responding with "Mhm," "Okay," and the occasional halfhearted chuckle. We're holding hands, fingers locked, and it gives me a slight sense of comfort, but I'd never let anyone know that. We don't really have anywhere to go, so we just walk from one end of the hall to the other.

Suddenly, there's a pause in the one-sided conversation. "Jade, I need to tell you something." I've never heard her so serious before.

"Alright. What is it?"

She doesn't say anything. With a glance at her, I see that she's staring blankly ahead of her. "Cat, are you okay?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows in concern.

She snaps out of whatever trance she was in and looks at me, nodding slowly. Her eyes look dull. "I just... I don't feel well."

I touch her forehead with the back of my hand. She has a fever so high that it almost burns my hand. That's when I become genuinely worried. "Come on, I'll take you to the nurse." I wrap my arm around her and start walking to the nurse's office. She looks down at her feet while she walks, carefully watching each of her steps. As we turn the corner, I look over at her again; her usually sun-kissed tan face has gone pale. I try to walk faster, but Cat isn't keeping up. The nurse's office is all the way upstairs, and on the other side of the school; I don't think she'll make it that far. "Damn it," I mutter. I scoop her up into my arms and break into a jog.

Just as we're a few yards away from the elevator, Cat's features contort into a grimace, and she clutches her stomach, letting out a cry of pain that makes me flinch in shock. Then I see a tear squeeze itself out of the corner of her eye, and she lets out a little sob. _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god_. My heart is beating at a million miles per hour. I press the elevator button rapidly, as if her life depends on it.

It probably does.

A sharp ding sounds as the elevator finally arrives, and I step inside before the door is even halfway open. My shaking finger presses the button and I look down at Cat in my arms. She's crying softly and her arms are locked around her abdomen. It hurts to look at her. This could be something serious. I feel so shaky. If anything happens to her...

* * *

Sitting in the chair in the hospital waiting room, I impulsively tap my foot on the shiny wooden floor. My elbow is propped on the chair arm and my head rests on top of my clenched fist. Every time I hear the doors swing open, I jump a little bit, hoping that it will be Cat, that she'll come out and be perfectly fine and back to her normal, bubbly self. But that would take a miracle.

The nurse had taken one look at Cat and immediately called 911. Almost ten minutes later medics had rushed in the school and taken Cat, putting her on one of those rolling bed things. During those ten minutes before she was taken, I kneeled next to the bed she was laying on, holding her hand tightly, not saying a word. I hadn't talked to anyone for the remainder of the school day, and when school finally ended, I rushed to the hospital to see her. I don't know the seriousness of whatever is happening to her; right now, all I can do is hope she's okay.

The doctor who had been taking care of Cat, Dr. Binford, emerges from the doors. He's carrying a light, sandy brown clipboard, and his silver-framed glasses are set near the tip of his pointy nose. He looks exactly like one of those stereotype doctors on television. I lurch out of my seat. "Doctor Binford," I call to him before he can walk away.

Dr. Binford turns and sees me, and his serious expression softens into a friendly one. "Why, hello there," he hesitates, examining my face for a moment as if trying to remember my name. "Jade West, correct?"

I offer him a curt nod of confirmation. "Where's Cat? Is she alright?" I ask with a sense of urgency in my voice.

He nods. "She'll be perfectly fine, but it will be a while until she's able to come back to school. It all depends on how fast she recovers from the surgery."

I feel weak. "_Surgery?_ What surgery?" What could possibly be wrong with her that required surgery?

"She had to have an appendectomy. She'll be released from the hospital by the end of the week."

To my relief, it isn't anything unusual or dangerous. I've heard of this surgery before. A few people from school have had it before. I take a deep breath and swallow, nodding for him to continue.

He flips through a few pages on his clipboard. "However, since her appendix burst, the surgeon had to perform the conventional surgery, which could take anywhere from three weeks to a month to fully recover from."

My jaw tightens. "Can I see her now?" He nods, motions towards the door with his hand, and steps out of the way.

I enter the room and walk over to the hospital bed, where Cat sleeping soundly. I stand over the bed and cross my arms, smiling subtly. She looks so beautiful, even when she's asleep. IV tubes are stuck in her wrist, and she's wearing a hospital gown. Her chest steadily rises and falls with each breath. She looks so peaceful. Maybe I should leave and visit later, when she's awake. Or, I could just wait until she's admitted out of the hospital. No, I couldn't bear going without seeing her for that long. I'll come back tomorrow after school.

I ever so gently run my fingers through her silky, red velvet hair. "See you tomorrow," I murmur. I plant a light peck on her cheek. Then I leave, quietly shutting the door behind me.

* * *

A thought pops into my mind as I walk out to my car. _What exactly was it that Cat wanted to tell me?_

* * *

**A/N: ****I think I deserve some credit for doing research on appendicitis and appendectomies for this chapter. But I did learn a few interesting things.**

**For example, did you know that the position of the appendix can vary from person to person?**

**Okay... that wasn't very interesting.**


	5. reconsideration

**tori.**

Friday morning starts as usual; I'm in my seat in Sikowitz's class, the room is buzzing with chatter. Andre is next to me, talking about a song that he's been working on lately. I'm not really listening; I just nod every now and then. Instead, I'm looking at the door, waiting anxiously for a certain dark-haired girl to walk in. No more than five minutes later, Jade arrives. She looks amazing. _As always,_ I add in my mind. I watch her gracefully stride to her seat and I swiftly look away before she catches me staring.

About ten minutes into class, I notice something is out of place. Jade is sitting alone, slumped back in her seat as her fingers tap rapidly on her phone. _Where's Cat?_

* * *

I decide to confront Jade about it after class has ended. She quickly slips out of the room at the exact moment the bell's shrill, metallic rattle echoes through the school. I pursue her in the hallway before she can evade me.

"Jade," I call out, somewhat tentatively, attempting to get her attention. She continues walking; she probably didn't hear me. "Jade," I call out again in a louder voice.

Jade stops and turns, an irritated look on her face. "_What_ do you want?"

"I... I was gonna ask..." My sentence trails off. The girl in front of me is plainly stunning. Her skin is as pale and flawless as porcelain; her body is lithe and curvy in all the right places. Her silky, midnight black hair is a frame for the portrait that is her face. Her facial features are gentle and smooth, and each of her eyebrows is shaped into a deceivingly perfect arch. And her eyes, flawless orbs of blue-green that leave me breathless when I look into them. She's perfect. My question slips away from me; I'm at a loss for words.

Jade's studded eyebrow lifts upward into a high, almost pointed arc. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." At the end of her sentence, an incredibly hot smirk crawls across her face, and it makes my heart beat faster.

My face burns and I know I'm blushing. "Sorry, sorry." I look away so I won't once again be entranced by her hypnotic beauty. "Um, where's Cat?"

The smirk vanishes from her face as quickly as it appeared, and is replaced with a blank look. "The hospital."

My mouth falls halfway open in shock. "Oh my God. What happened?"

Jade's expression remains the same. "She had to get her appendix removed. Nothing too serious."

My eyebrows knit together. "Oh." _Poor Cat._ "Do you have any idea when she'll be back?"

Jade shrugs. "Doctor says it could be a few weeks, maybe a month."

"A whole month?!" I exclaim. A couple of bystanders' eyes wander towards us.

Jade exhales loudly. "Keep it down, Vega."

"Sorry," I repeat.

I pause for a moment. Cat won't be back at school. That means I have a chance of getting Jade from her.

My conscience kicks in immediately after the thought crosses my mind. Trying to take Jade away from Cat would be wrong, and just plain cruel. Cat's one of my best friends. I could never do that to her. She'd hate me forever.

Yet, I'll finally get what my heart's been achingly longing for for the past two years.

But getting it in this way would be wrong.

I blink when Jade snaps her fingers in my face. "Hello," she says in a singsong voice. "Anyone there?"

"Y-yeah. I was just... thinking."

She nods in that I-really-don't-care way of hers and walks away in long, graceful strides. I release the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding when she turns the corner and I lose sight of her.

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I have on my reading glasses and my math homework is sitting in my lap. I stare at the problem I'm on for two minutes before groaning, tossing the pencil onto my pillow, and resting my chin in my hands. Math was never my best subject. I give up on the problem and my mind begins to wander to other things.

Jade's great at math.

I squeeze my eyes shut and put my hands on the sides of my head. I don't want to be thinking about Jade right now. That's exactly why I'm trying to busy myself. If it weren't for Jade lurking in my thoughts, I wouldn't be wasting my Friday night doing homework, of all things. With a glance at my watch, I see it's 9 o'clock. This is useless.

"Trina!" I yell. I need to talk to my sister. Minutes pass, but there's no reply. I call her name again. Still no answer.

I roll off my bed and walk into the hallway, then I go to Trina's room. The door is open, but Trina's not there. I make my way downstairs. My mom is watching some soap opera on television, laying across the couch with a blanket around her legs. "Mom, have you seen Trina?"

"She said she was going out with some friends," she replies without taking her eyes off the TV screen. "She should be back in a few hours.

My shoulders drop in disappointment. I guess I'll have to wait. "Okay. I'll be in my room if you need -" My mom hushes me, lifting up a finger and putting it in my face. _I'll just leave now,_ I think, and begin my ascent back up to my room.

I put my headphones on and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and before I know it, I fall asleep.

* * *

_I'm walking down a dark, dimly lit school hallway. A strong gust of icy air blows through the open door behind me, and papers littered on the floor spiral into the air from the breeze. A smoky fog hovers above the floor, so my feet are almost completely concealed from sight. And at the end of the hallway is more fog billowing out of the opposite doorway, but there's light illuminating it, giving it a ghostly glow. It's completely silent except for the sound of my footsteps. I'm alone, all alone, in this dark, foreboding place, and I feel like I should be afraid, that I should try to find a way out of here, but there's an eerie calm inside me that keeps me from running._

_Then, all of a sudden, I see the silhouette of a slender, long haired girl wearing a dress in the glowing fog. The doorway gets closer and I stare into the fog, awestruck. A pale hand with two silver rings on one finger and black painted nails reaches out and touches my cheek. An icy cold spreads through my body like electricity and I shiver. At that same instance, the fog begins to clear, revealing the girl in front of me. She's in a white, lacy, flowing dress, and her snow-white skin makes it look like she's glowing. It's... Jade._

_Jade's eyes lock with mine, I stop breathing, and I'm trapped, drowning in deep, never-ending pools of blue green. Her other hand raises to my other cheek, and then, the unthinkable happens. She leans in and kisses me._

That's when I wake up. My eyes flash open and I gasp for air. I'm breathing hard, and sweat is beading on my forehead.

A dream. It was a dream.

For a while, I just sit on the edge of my bed, clutching the sheets, trying to regain my breath. I'm still wearing my headphones; I take them off and put them on the table next to my bed. I guess I won't be getting sleep any time soon. I look up at the clock hanging on my wall. It's 11. Trina might be home now. I speed walk out my room and to hers. Without knocking, I let myself in. Trina's still gone.

I groan and go downstairs, keeping my footsteps light, considering my mom is asleep in her room by now. I feel spark of happiness when I see no one other than Trina laying on the couch, in the same place Mom was a couple of hours ago.

"Trina!" I grab her arm and shake her violently.

Her eyes flutter open and she frowns. "What? What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?" Her words are a little bit slurred and breath smells like alcohol.

"Were you... drinking?" I gasp.

"So what if I was?" She snaps.

I walk around the couch and sit down where Trina's feet are. "Mom would _kill_ you if she found out. Not to mention it's _illegal_."

She closes her eyes. "Mom won't find out."

"She will if I tell her."

"You wouldn't tell her," Trina sneers.

I say nothing. She knows me way better than I thought; of course I wouldn't tell Mom. I've never been one to tattle, even when we were little.

"Exactly," Trina says, as if reading my thoughts.

There's a tense silence between us for several moments.

"I wanted to ask you something," I say absently, breaking the silence.

"What?" she answers, not opening her eyes.

"What does it mean when you can't stop thinking about someone?"

Her eyes open. "Jade?"

I swallow and nod. "Yeah."

A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "You're in love," she says, dragging out the last word.

"No, no, don't say that," I say in a distressed voice, rubbing my temples. I don't want to accept it, although it's very much true.

"Look, Tori. You don't have to play nice _all_ the time. If you want something, just take it."

I look at the floor and nod slowly. Trina has point. Maybe I _should_ take this opportunity, now that Cat's not here, and try to take Jade from her. Cat is too nice to try to do anything about it anyway. And, if I'm successful, I'll have her, all of her, and everything would be great. "I guess I could try."

"Good luck with that." She closes her eyes again and rolls onto her side.

"That's it? No help or anything?"

"Why should I? It's your problem, not mine." _There's the Trina I know and love,_ I think bitterly. After a few minutes, I hear soft snores. I get up and go back to my room, laying down on my bed on my back.

Thoughts swirl through my mind as I examine the ceiling. I would hate to hurt Cat, but Jade is worth it. I want her, I _need_ her.

And I'll do anything to get her.

* * *

**A/N: If you couldn't tell already, obsessed Tori is coming, and it's much closer than you think.**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading!**


	6. tears

**jade.**

During lunch, I'm sitting at me and Cat's usual table - alone, as I was on Friday, since she's not here - picking at a salad when a familiar voice sounds from behind me. "Hey, Jade." I turn around and glare at Tori, who waves and avoids my death stare. "Is this seat taken?" she asks, motioning to where Cat used to sit.

I turn back around to face my meal. "Yes," I say bluntly, twirling my fork in the plate of vegetables. I expect her to leave, but instead, she sits in Cat's seat. I groan inwardly. As annoying as Tori is, you have to admit she's persistent.

"So... what's up?" She asks, trying to initiate a conversation. I stay silent. Maybe if I ignore her she'll go away.

The silence between us drags out until Tori speaks again. "Jade, I don't know _what_ you have against me, but I don't like it. You can't hate me for no reason."

"No reason?" I chuckle sardonically and look up at her. She blinks a few times and avoids my gaze, eyes tracing the metal of the lunch table. I lean on the table with my elbows and interlock my hands. "I don't hate people for no reason. I _always_ have a reason."

Tori looks back up slowly; it's almost as if she's afraid to look at me. "Then... then why do you hate me?"

I shake my head and smile - a fake smile - closing my eyes impatiently. "You're seriously asking me this? Are you really that oblivious?"

"I - Please, just tell me."

"Where do I begin?" I throw my hands into the air. "First of all, you got into this school just for filling in for Trina at the talent show. That's it. You know how I got in this school? Work, hard, grueling work. I worked my ass off, put my blood, sweat, and tears into getting to where I am now. I've been working all my life for this. You, on the other hand, didn't even have to lift a finger and the principal let you in without even having a proper audition." I slam my hands down on the table. "And you instantly became the most popular girl in school. You practically have everything handed to you on a silver platter."

"As soon as you came here, the _first day_, you humiliated me in front of everyone and stole my friends from me. Andre, Robbie... even Cat." I choke up a little at the end of my sentence. Despite the fact Cat is my girlfriend, it's obvious that at times she prefers Tori over me, and it hurts, a lot. I swallow the lump in my throat and continue. "My best friends all liked you more than me, even when you were basically a stranger to them."

Tori opens up her mouth as if she's about to say something, but she stops herself. "Don't pretend you haven't heard what they say when I'm not around! I know they talk about me. They think I'm a bitch, they say I'm fake and conceited and an awful person..." This is something I'm certain of. A few months ago, one of my other friends had told me that they heard Andre and Robbie talking about me. When I confronted them about it, they clumsily tried to change the subject, so I knew it was true. I haven't sat with them during lunch or even talked to them since then.

"You beat me in everything. _You_ got to be Steamboat Suzy, _you_ got to open for the Platinum Music awards... My play, that I took months to perfect, that I wrote, produced, and directed all by myself, got cancelled so you could have your stupid 'Prome.' I never got to see it in action. All my hard work, down the drain. Just like that." I snap my fingers on the last word. Tori is just staring at me, completely quiet for what might be the first time in her life. At the end of my speech, I feel tears starting to well in my eyes. Not tears of sadness, but tears of anger.

Ever since I was little, whenever I got angry, I'd cry. Everyone else would make fun of me for it, and it always made me feel so weak. Throughout the last few years, I've learned to hold them back; to not show any weakness. Now, it's impossible to hold them back. I guess the emotions I've been restraining all this time are finally breaking free, because now I'm sitting here sobbing into the palms of my hands at the worst possible moment.

I continue for only a little while until Tori comes around the table and sits next to me, wrapping her arms around me in an attempt to make me stop crying. "Hey, hey," she says in a soft, soothing voice. She's the last person I'd want to seek comfort in, but I have no choice.

My body is still shaking with sobs and tears stream from my closed eyes. She pulls me into her so the side of my face is pressed against her chest and strokes my hair. Her skin warms me and I can hear the steady, rhythmic drumming of her heartbeat; it's strangely calming. "Please don't cry," she murmurs. I oblige and my sobs reduce to sniffles. I stay there for a long time, absorbing her warmth as her arms shield me from the wind. Then, I comprehend exactly what's happening and begin to feel uncomfortable.

This is Tori whose arms I'm in right now.

I jerk away from her, pushing her arms off of me. I slide a little bit away from her. Tori sighs. "About what you said... I know saying sorry won't help, but I am, I really, really am and I just want you to accept that. I don't like all this tension between us. I want to be friends."

I hesitate, unsure of how to respond. After what just happened, there's no way I could refuse. "Fine," I say after a long pause.

Tori grins happily. "Thank you so much." She reaches out for a hug but I glare at her, clearly rejecting it. Her arms drop to her sides.

I hear the lunch bell and discard of my uneaten food, then rush back into the school building. I'm not sure how I feel right now. Part of me feels like throwing up, another part wants to stay with Tori, and another part feels numb and confused as if this isn't really happening.

I just became friends with my worst enemy, but that's not all. Something happened. I let her see me vulnerable, I let her break through one of my walls and see through me. No, it hadn't been intentional, but now it feels as if we're linked somehow. She's seen me cry, which is a rare sight for anyone. And I hate it. It should have never happened.

I decide to skip the rest of my classes for the day and go home. The sooner this day is over, the sooner I can pretend none of this ever happened and go back to hating her.

* * *

**A/N: I hope your little Jori shipping hearts are content for now. But I promise this will progress next chapter!  
**

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. drowning

**jade.**

From school, I go straight to the hospital to see Cat. It's a little bit past 1, so she'll undoubtedly be awake. She's supposed to be admitted out of the hospital today.

Just as I thought, she's up watching the TV. It's on the news. I'm a bit surprised as to why she's watching the news. She usually would be watching some stupid cartoon, or a kid's show. With another look I notice she's not really watching; just staring blankly at the screen. "Cat." She looks over at me at the sound of her name and smiles just barely. My eyebrows drop. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Her voice sounds much lower than normal. "How was school?"

Not sure how to answer her question, I pause. "It was... interesting." I try not to think about what happened during lunch with Tori. That needs to completely be deleted from my memory.

She frowns a little bit. "You're early."

"There was a peripeteia."

A cute, confused expression appears on her face. "What's that?"

I laugh and sit next to her on the bed. "You see, this is why I love you." I lean in to kiss her, but she turns away at the last moment and my lips lightly brush against her cheek. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong... I need a moment." She puts her face in her hands and takes a deep breath. When she looks back up, here's solemnity buried deep in her eyes. "Remember... that day I had to go to the hospital, when I wanted to tell you something?" I nod slowly. "Well, this is it... Ever since we started dating, I've realized something."

The air around me suddenly feels cold and I go stiff. "What?"

There's a long hesitation before she proceeds. "This relationship isn't how I expected it would be. I think... I think that we..." She turns away and her words break off into something between a laugh and a sob. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

I'm unable to speak. I can tell what's coming next.

"This isn't working. And..." Cat looks back up and her eyes are red, as if she's about to cry. "...I think we need to break up."

"I don't... you... b-but... but you can't..." I take a long, deep, shuddering breath. "Can you at least explain?"

Cat shakes her head so subtly that I almost don't see it. "I really don't want to be with someone as cold and sobersided as you."

Hearing her say that stabs me straight through the heart. I never thought I'd hear that from her. I'm shaking. "How could you even say that?"

She doesn't answer my question. "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."

Tears are welling in my eyes. _Don't cry. Not again. _I force them back. "But... I love you," I say, but they're just words, three meaningless little words that would have meant something had I not postponed it for so long, or been in the situation that I'm in now. I don't know what else to say or do.

"I know, I love you too, but this isn't something I can go on with."

"Please... please..." My heart is pounding slowly and loudly. Cat is breaking up with me. This is actually happening. I shouldn't feel so desperate, so inclined to fix our relationship, but she's different than anyone else I've dated. I love her. I am utterly and hopelessly in love with her. I can't lose her.

She puts a hand on my wrist; I flinch. "I think you should get going."

I don't need to be told twice. I get my keys off the table next to her bed and leave silently. I have nothing else to say. Words can't fix this.

The aftershock hits me twice as hard as the first blow to my heart. I'm about to drive off, but I put my head on the steering wheel and shut my eyes as tight as I can. I wish it would stop. I want it all to stop. Throughout all the pain I have gone through in my life, this, by far, is the worst I've _ever_ gone through, and I don't want to feel it.

I start the car and drive home.

* * *

As soon as I get home, I rush to the kitchen. I swing open the dark brown, wooden liquor cabinet. There's lots of bottles of several types of alcohol. _Can you help me? _I eye each bottle. _I think you can._ Maybe I can drink the pain away. Mom's still on her business trip until next Thursday; there's no way I would get caught. I reach in and grab two bottles of wine. Just as I'm about to close the cabinet, my eye is caught by another bottle in the back. It's Everclear. I replace the wine bottles and take it instead.

You're never supposed to drink Everclear straight. It's way too strong. But I don't care. I take the bottle and twist off the cap. The smell of alcohol fills my nose; it stings. I put the bottle to my lips and take a long drink of the clear liquid. Going down my throat, it burns almost unbearably, but I continue drinking. When the bottle is half empty, I take it away from my mouth and gasp for air. After a few breaths, I drink from the glass bottle again, taking in every last drop. No color, no flavor. Just straight up alcohol.

My vision starts to get blurry; everything fades in and out of black. It feels like the floor is tilting underneath me. My body starts to go numb; I stumble and bump into the wall. The bottle falls out my hand and shatters on the kitchen floor, but the shatter sounds dull and muffled, as if I have earplugs in. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion, like I'm underwater. My legs give way and I try to grab the counter for support, but my hands can't get a grip. I collapse onto the ground and I'm swallowed into darkness.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this update is a bit late, I wasn't feeling well yesterday and didn't finish it.**

**If you like the story so far, PLEASE review! It would really mean a lot to me, and your feedback is important.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. epiphany - part one

**A/N: Sorry once again for my lateness. As you can see, this is Part 1 of a two-part chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**part 1: tori.**

It feels surreal. Jade was in my arms, crying, less than two hours ago.

I have no idea as to why she left, but I'd planned to go see her again after school. Maybe that one little moment could be the start of something new.

* * *

I ring the doorbell next to Jade's front door. No answer. After a few moments I ring it again, but the effort is useless. I knock lightly. Still no answer. She must be home; her car is parked out front.

Then, I try the doorknob. It's unlocked. I breathe deeply before entering.

My jaw drops when I step inside. Her house is a mansion.

The main room is huge. The marble floor is a shade of light, white-streaked grey, and it's so shiny that I can see my reflection in it. A sparkly chandelier hangs down from the center of the both walls and ends at a 90-degree angle and goes directly across, creating a balcony directly in front of me. Stone pillars stretch from the floor to the ceiling. All the furniture looks antique. Every single detail about the house looks expensive, but I can't say I'm completely surprised. Ms. West is a criminal defense lawyer.

A huge painting is located on the wall above the balcony. It's set inside a dark brown wooden frame. The painting itself is of a young woman writing in a leather-bound journal with a gold tipped fountain pen. She's clad in a dark red, silky dress, posed on the edge of a stone pond. Her dark brown hair is draped over one shoulder. My heart skips a beat when I look at her face.

She strikingly resembles Jade, but her eyebrows are less shaped, and her features a bit more defined. It's Jade's mother, back when she was around our age.

I stop admiring the gigantic house and resume the task at hand. I'm supposed to be looking for Jade. I'm about to start looking through the house when I see something out the corner of my eye. It's the tip of Jade's boot, in what I think might be the kitchen.

I run to the kitchen. What I see shocks me.

Jade is laying on the floor on her side. Her hair is splayed across the floor; her eyes are shut and her mouth is halfway open. A shattered bottle and pieces of glass litter the floor a few feet away from her. The entire vicinity smells strongly of alcohol.

"Oh my god, Jade, are you okay?" I drop to my knees and grab her arm, shaking her. Her body is completely motionless. She's not breathing. I'm trembling with terror. _She's not dead. She can't be dead. _

I need to calm down. What was it that we learned in health class? My mind is jumbled from fear, but I remember. First, the ABC assessment - airway, breathing, circulation. I tilt her head back and then open her mouth. There's nothing there. Next, I check her breathing. She's not, I noticed that before. And circulation. I take her wrist in one hand and with the other, press my middle and index finger against it. I don't feel anything. Starting to feel shaky again, I move my fingers up to her neck. Her pulse is dangerously weak. I don't think there's anything I can do to make this better.

Shoving my hand in my pocket, I yank out my phone, swiftly unlock it and dial 911.


	9. epiphany - part two

**part 2: jade.**

It feels like I'm trapped underwater. Black, nothing but black. For a brief moment, the darkness fades and I'm just barely aware of my surroundings. I hear voices, talking urgently and seriously, but they're so blurred I can't tell who they are. The darkness falls over me again and I'm greeted with silence.

After a long period of time, I can feel again, but I'm paralyzed. I try to move, try to fight whatever is holding me back, but the most I can manage is a miniscule twitch of my eyelids. Then, I hear movements over me, and more voices. "Jade?" one of them says. "Jade, can you hear me?" I want to open my eyes, I want to respond, but I can't. I can't do anything.

I give in and let the darkness pull me back under.

* * *

Seconds, minutes, hours, days. I don't know how long it's been when I finally regain consciousness. This time, when I try to move, I manage to force my eyelids open. The light above me glares painfully into my eyes and I blink multiple times. I look around. _Where am I?_ I sit up, and moving feels weird; my muscles feel sore, as if I haven't moved for ages.

It's dark, and I can see that it's nighttime by looking out the window; the sky is a deep, dark shade of blue and all I see are the city lights and dark silhouettes of palm trees near the coast. But what I'm not expecting to see is Tori, Tori Vega of all people, sitting in the chair across from my bed. She's starting to doze off; she has her cheek against her hand and her eyes are beginning to close.

"Why are you here?" It's meant to be snappy, but in my condition, the most I can manage is a tired, worn-out voice.

The brunette immediately lifts her head up. "Oh my god, Jade!" She rushes over to me, and to my surprise, wraps her arms around me, giving me a tight hug. I don't fight her; I couldn't, even if I tried... or I wanted to. To my dismay, I find myself submissively hugging back instead. I stay there for a moment with my eyes shut. Then, I start to remember.

At lunch, me crying, her comforting me...

No, no, no. I thought I was over that.

Apparently not.

With the meek effort that I can muster, I push her back. I struggle to make my mouth form words. "Why... What... What happened?" I pick at my memories for a moment. The most recent event before now that I recollect is Cat breaking up with me, and that memory comes with a sharp, stabbing pain.

I see the muscles in Tori's face move slightly when she clenches and unclenches her jaw. "You had to get your stomach pumped. You were in a coma for almost two days."

"Oh." I didn't mean for my response to be so curt, but there's not much I can say in answer to that. "But... Why? Why are you here?"

She inhales sharply. "Jade... You have _no_ idea how scared I was for you." Her voice cracks. "I thought... I thought you were..."

I cut her off with a snort of contempt. "I was going to be fine."

"I was so worried."

I'm at a loss for words. I pause for a long moment. "Well... I'm okay. Now what? What do you want from me?"

She breathes deeply.

"_What? _What is it?"

She leans back a little. "You know exactly what I want."

I exhale loudly. "No, I don't. And I'm not guessing either. Tell me. _Now_."

Not a second passes after I'm done speaking when she forces out, "You. I want you." She's deathly serious. "I love you."

I blink wordlessly, then stare at her coldly. "Okay..." I try to act nonchalant, but I feel something pricking at me. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

She changes her sitting position, pulling her legs up onto the bed so they're bent next to her. "Please be my girlfriend."

I stare at her for a long time. My face is completely still until the corner of my lip twitches. My blunt, emotionless response is "No."

Her lips part in a silent, subtle gasp. "But... But... I thought... I thought you..." She shakes her head. "At lunch, when you cried, and..."

Although I can't remember a time where I ever cared about someone else's feelings, I know there's no point in being harsh. "Tori. Stop. I don't - "

"No... You don't mean that. I can see it in your eyes."

_She is ridiculous._ "Will you just shut the fuck up?"

Our eyes lock. "Jade, I know how you feel about me."

"You don't know what I feel!" I almost yell, even surprising myself with the sudden outburst. Now, I'm seething. I break eye contact with her to shift my gaze downwards. My hands ball into fists and my nails dig painfully into the skin of my palms, almost making them bleed. _She's wrong. She's stupid. I don't love her. I don't even _like_ her. Anyone with eyes could see that..._

_...Can't they?_

Even I know I'm lying to myself. I can't hide from it anymore. I won't.

I do have feelings for her. I don't know if it's love, I don't know if it's hate. Maybe I love her but over time forced myself to believe I hate her. Maybe I truly hate her, but my brain is mixing up my emotions. At this point, all I know is I'm an emotional wreck with no hope of figuring it out on my own.

I need to think first. I'm not just going to fall into her arms the first chance I get only for the purpose of freeing myself from this emotional whirlwind. If we were to get together - and that's a solid _if_ - It could have some benefits. I would get to clear up my emotions and find out how I really feel, and she would get to be happy, even if it's only temporary - not that I care anyway. It's a win-win. _But on the downside... _I try to think of the consequences in order to weigh my options, but whatever I had holding me back before is gone now. I've made my choice.

I look up. She's not looking at me anymore; she's looking out the window. Following her eyes, can see the night sky gradating to a lighter blue at the horizon. It's almost morning. My eyes move back to look at her. "Tori," I say.

She speaks before I have a chance to begin. "Look, I don't want to force you into anything. If you don't want to go out with me, I completely under-"

"I'll be your girlfriend," I blurt out, more abrupt than I'd initially planned.

"Really?" A smile of genuine happiness lights up her face and once again I find myself in her embrace. This time, I hug back willingly, letting her warmth envelope me. "I love you," she whispers. I manage a small smile.

I don't reply. As much as I want to say them, I have to keep those four words locked inside me until I'm completely sure of where I stand. I can't tell her I love her too. So instead, I pull back, take her face in my hands, and let my lips do the talking for me.

* * *

**A/N: Wow. Long time no write. I said I probably wouldn't keep up with updates, but I never meant to hold this chapter off for so long. My apologies.**

**However, if you liked this chapter, please review and tell me about it!**

**Hope you like the story so far, thanks for reading!**


	10. repercussions

**tori.**

Six days. That's how long me and Jade have been official.

I must admit I feel pretty special. Never, would I ever had expected her, of all people, to say yes. But after the lunch incident and the way she had acted at the hospital, it's undeniable that the feelings I have for her are mutual.

Two days ago, my mom had been nice enough as to take the role of being her apparent legal guardian since her mom is still out of town until next week, and completed the task of signing her out of the hospital. She also promised not to tell Ms. West of the incident. One of the many reasons I love my mother. Jade decided to stay home for the rest of the week to sort some things out and recover.

The events of that night have imprinted themselves deep into my thoughts, but the kiss in particular. I can't keep it off my mind.

Jade kissed me. She kissed me, and now she's my girlfriend. _My_ girlfriend. These few years spent lusting after her finally paid off, and now she's mine.

Something else also happened that night. As we talked for a while after the kiss, I just barely saw a side of Jade I hadn't seen before. I occasionally saw hints of a different girl, one who's actually sweet, nice, and really funny. The mean-girl facade probably serves as protection. From what exactly, I've yet to find out.

I suddenly freeze with my hand on my locker.

_Cat._

How could I be so stupid as to forget one of the most important details? What would happen if Cat found out Jade was dating someone else at the same time as her? Now I regret my decision of stealing Jade from her... Although I didn't really take her. It was more as if she came to a realization with herself and allowed herself to be mine.

Is she doing this as revenge to Cat for something? I wouldn't put it past her, knowing the type of person she is, but I don't know if she would stoop so low as to try to break someone's heart, which in my opinion is the worst thing you could do to someone. Especially with that someone being Cat.

Is she using me?

I pull out my phone and send a text to Jade:

_I'm going to be late to your house after school. When I get there we need to talk about something._

* * *

The rest of the day goes by slowly, but immediately after school I get in my car and start the drive to Cat's house.

When I arrive, I tap the white wooden front door with my knuckle. "Come in!" A familiar voice comes from inside.

I let myself in. "Hey, Cat."

"Hi!" She's happy and smiley, just like always.

She's laying on the living room couch with a blanket over her, watching TV. An empty plate sits on the floor beside her slang with a cup, so I'm guessing she ate lunch recently.

"How have you been?" I ask, initiating conversation. "Are you feeling any better?"

The redheaded girl nods. "Yep! But it hurts to move too much," she adds with a subtle grimace.

"Oh, well I'm glad to hear you're feeling better," I say with a smile. She returns the smile and resumes watching the television. It's quiet for a while and i glance at the TV to see what she's watching, which happens to be an old sitcom.

I decide to jump right into this. "How are things between you and Jade?" Cat looks away from the TV and at me.

"I don't know," she says with a sigh. "I haven't talked to her in days."

"Why not?"

She looks down and examines her hands.

"Cat..."

"We broke up," she blurts out. "It wasn't working out, so... I dumped her."

"What?" My mouth hangs halfway open. Cat dumped Jade. So Jade couldn't have been trying to use me. She genuinely has feelings for me.

...Unless I'm just her rebound.

I shake my head clear of that thought.

"That's a relief," I say aloud, although I meant for it to be internal. Cat gives me a look. "No! No, I was thinking about something else." _Smooth, Tori._ "Why did you two break up?"

Cat sighs. "Dating her wasn't what I expected it to be. She was always so mean to me and treated me like a little kid. Sure, we kissed and hugged, but sometimes she would come on too strongly and everything felt forced." She looks at the TV once again but continues to talk. "Like... like that time she took me into the janitor's closet. She just started kissing me and touching me and it's not that I didn't like it but it escalated too quickly and I could tell she wanted to do - " Her wide eyes fix on my face and her voice drops to a whisper. " - it."

Of course, I knew what she meant by _it._ I signaled for her to continue by nodding.

"And... and I was always there to listen and help when she had a problem, but when I wanted to talk to her about something she'd say things like 'That's nice, Cat' or 'Whatever' and just completely ignore me." She pouted. "She wasn't a good girlfriend."

I let what she said sink in. By dating Jade I could possibly be setting myself up to get hurt. But I love her and I'm willing to take that chance.

I hope I don't end up with a broken heart.

* * *

I make my way to Jade's house. I approach the door and I'm about to put a hand on the doorknob when suddenly the swings open, making me jump. "You startled me," I say, putting a hand on my chest and looking at Jade, who'd opened the door.

"I saw your car pull into the driveway." Jade stands in the doorway, leaning on the door frame with one leg crossed in front of the other. She's wearing a black T-shirt and gray sweatpants, and her hair is pulled back into a low ponytail with many loose curls at the ends. Even in her casual attire, she still looks beautiful. "Come in," she says, not sounding welcoming in the least. I enter and she shuts the door behind me.

"Your text," she begins. "What did you want to talk about?"

I'm a little caught off guard by her question. "Oh, yeah. I, um, it's all good now."

"Is it really? The text looked pretty serious," she presses.

I swallow and nod, but I can tell she doesn't buy it. Those icy blue-green eyes are looking straight into me.

"Fine! Fine." I give in. "I talked to Cat today."

Her expression remains neutral, but I see her stiffen ever so slightly. "And?"

"And... She may have told me some things..."

"About what?" Her eyes narrow. "About me?"

I bite my lip and nod.

She sighs. "What did she say?"

"She... she told me about how bad of a girlfriend you were to her." My words hang in the air.

After a long time, she says, "And you believed her?"

"Jade, Cat's one of my best friends. I -"

"Why did you even go to her in the first place?" She's clearly getting mad.

I hesitate. "I thought... I thought you were using me."

"I knew it." Now, Jade shakes her head and turns away. "You don't trust me."

"I never said that!"

"You know you don't," she says coldly.

My next sentence slips out before I have time to think over what to say. "Based on the way you act, I don't think you deserve my trust."

She whirls around to glare at me, and behind the burning anger in her eyes I can see pain buried underneath. I seriously hurt her with what I said. I instantly regret it. "Jade, I -"

"No. Don't speak. We _just_ started this relationship and you already don't trust me. If we don't have trust, what _do_ we have?"

I'm dumbstruck. "I-I didn't mean -"

"Save it, Vega. If you really feel that way about me, leave." She walks past me to the door and opens it, then stands there with her arms crossed.

It's no use talking to her. I know she won't listen. Silently, I walk out and the moment I'm completely out of the doorway, the door slams loudly.

* * *

In my car, I stare straight ahead, then bang my head on the steering wheel.

What the hell did I just do? I should've thought better of Jade from the beginning. She's a human being with a heart. Although she seems mean and cold, she is human, and she has feelings. I shouldn't have just assumed she'd do something like that. As for her thinking I don't trust her... I can't say that was completely untrue. And there's no hope with apologizing now. What I said cut deep; she now has the idea I'll never trust her based solely on the mean-girl act she puts on in public, which can't be role she's playing willingly. There's a good chance she'll never talk to me again.

Not even a week into our relationship and I've already screwed everything up.


	11. cut short

**A/N: Short chapter.**

* * *

**jade.**

Fridays are supposed to be fun and happy, but I'm really dreading today and the upcoming weekend.

For the first part of the day, I manage to successfully avoid Tori and put my effort into my classes. But when it's time for Sikowitz's class, I know it's impossible to stay away from her.

The classroom is empty and the lights are off; I came here a whole hour early, skipping lunch, for the sole purpose of being alone. I enter the room, not bothering to turn on the lights, and make my way to a seat in the back. I turn the seat in front of me around to face me, prop one leg up on it and cross the other over the first, then cross my arms and lean my head back. Might as well catch up on my sleep.

Just as I begin to drift off, I hear the sound of someone turning the doorknob, which jerks me back into consciousness. I squint when bright light from the hallway filters in through the now open door, penetrating the dense darkness of the classroom.

When I see who it is that steps inside, I grit my teeth and exhale loudly. Tori. This girl can't give me _one_ damn day of peace.

I open my mouth to make stinging remark, but Tori talks before I do. "Before you say anything, hear me out." She shuts the door behind her and comes over to me; I take my legs off the other chair, where she sits down. "I didn't mean what I said yesterday."

"Yet you said it anyway," I state coldly.

"That's not the point." She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "I didn't mean... I never meant..." She struggles to find words, then puts a hand on her forehead and groans. I observe her patiently. "Forget it. You know why I'm here and you know what I'm going to say, so let's just cut to the chase. Do you forgive me or not?"

I look at her for a long time. "Did you honestly believe you could just apologize I'd forgive you the next day?"

Tori sighs. "No."

I say nothing. Part of me wants to forgive her, but it's not that easy. I was and still am deeply hurt by what she said to me yesterday. "Why don't you trust me?" The question leaves my lips almost as quiet as a whisper.

Her eyes dart away from mine. "Don't... It has nothing to go with you, I swear. It's just... I've been hurt before, Jade. In worse ways than you can imagine. It's hard for me to put my trust into someone, or anyone for that matter. I just..." She bites her lip. "I don't want to get hurt again."

I shake my head. "Tori, I'd never hurt you. You might not be able to see that now, but I wouldn't. I couldn't." She still doesn't look at me. I reach over and grab her chin gently, making her look at me. I stare straight into her dark brown eyes. "I promise." I slide my hand up to caress her cheek. My eyes wander down to her perfectly shaped lips. She's looking at me still, awaiting my next action. Then, I give in to my whims, leaning forward and pressing my lips against hers.

It starts out a sweet, passionate kiss. Our lips do a dance with each other in smooth, synchronized movements. It gives me chills. I reach up to put my hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer, and her hands end up on my shoulders. Wanting to deepen the kiss, I glide my tongue over her lower lip and she gives me permission to enter. My tongue and hers have a battle, and for a moment my brain shuts down and I give in to the ecstasy of kissing her. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, biting it feverishly. I'm no longer in control of my actions. I think I'm getting addicted to the way she tastes. I'd initially intended just one kiss, but once I'd gotten it, I craved more and more.

I slide my lips down to her neck and I feel her body tense. With a grin I start to alternate between kisses and soft bites. I hear her breathing get faster and with my lips on her neck I can feel her pulse accelerate. I suck the soft skin into my mouth and she shudders.

**tori.**

I'm paralyzed as her mouth roams my neck. It's a sensory overload. My breath falters and an involuntary noise escapes my throat. My grip on her shoulders tightens and I dig my nails into her by reflex. I'm completely wracked with a warm, tingling feeling that goes straight through me.

Disappointingly, she pulls away, leaving me bewildered. "Why did you stop?" I ask weakly. She doesn't answer, and for a while neither of us talk.

"We should probably go to lunch," she says. I nod and she gets off of my lap, heading to the door. I follow soon after and watch her graceful strides as she walks out and to the lunch room.

She's such a tease to leave me hanging like that.

And it makes me want her even even more.


	12. withdrawl

**tori.**

It's hard for me to focus on anything else for the rest of the day. What happened is imprinted on my brain. Her taste lingers on my lips, her perfume has set into my clothes. Every place she kissed, burning with the memory. And everywhere she touched, I can still feel her hands on me.

It's raining when school ends, which really sucks considering I have no jacket and my phone is at home, and to make things worse, I walked to school today. I need to get a ride.

I stand outside the front doors of the school for a while. People walk out in groups and pairs, talking and laughing and saying goodbye to each other. I spot Jade in the midst of the crowd. I call her name and she walks my way. "Hey," she says.

I shift my weight from one foot to the other. It feels weird to be around her after what happened earlier. And I'm still not sure if I'm 100% forgiven.

"Did you need something?" she asks me. "My dad's picking me up today so I have to leave."

I had forgotten that she was staying at her dad's house this weekend. I guess getting a ride home is out of the question. Her dad is a strict, serious man. I wouldn't want her getting in trouble with him for being late. "Nothing, just wanted to say hi."

She nods, then says, "I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye." I contemplate hugging her for a moment, but she's gone before I have the chance to act upon my whim.

By some stroke of luck, Trina walks by a few minutes later. "Trina!" I reach forward and grab her arm before she walks out into the rain.

"What?" She snaps and looks at me.

"Drive me home?"

She groans but doesn't protest. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go before it starts raining harder."

* * *

Most of the car ride is spent listening to Trina singing along horrendously to the radio at the top of her lungs. I lean over and hit my head on the window.

She stops singing after some time. "So, how is Jade?"

"Um... Good," I say slowly. She slows down at a stop light and looks at me with a sly grin, asking an unsaid question. I gasp. "God, no! You're disgusting, Trina."

"Everyone knows a relationship isn't official until you have sex," she says pointedly.

"That's not true!"

"Whatever you say, little sis." She pulls up into the driveway of our house. We both get soaked by the rain when we get out, and Trina fumbles with her keys to unlock the door. Once inside, I sit on the sofa and lean my head back with my eyed closed. "What's that on your neck?" I hear my sister ask suddenly. When I look at her in confusion, a huge grin spreads across her face. Frowning and rubbing my neck, I run to the bathroom. What I see in the mirror leaves me shocked.

My neck is completely covered with bite marks and hickeys.

* * *

Later that night, I hear a knock on my room door. "Come in," I say loudly. It's my mom.

"Honey, what's been going on with you lately?"

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"You seem so out of it lately; caught up in your own little world." She sits on the edge of my bed. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"No, nothing comes to mind." I continue reading the magazine in my hands.

"Really?" She reaches over and moves the collar of my shirt to the side, revealing the marks on my neck. "Nothing at all?"

"Mom," I groan, putting my hands up to cover them.

"Who did this?"

"No one," I lie. The last thing I want is my mother getting involved in my love life. Especially since it's Jade. How would she react to me being with a girl?

"As a mother, I think I have the right to know who's been touching my daughter."

"Don't worry about it," I say, sighing.

"Honey... Remember what happened last time?"

I tense a little bit at the dreadful memory which I'd spent so much time trying to forget. I don't even want to think about it. "That won't happen again," I murmur. "I'll be fine."

"I just don't want you to get hurt." She hugs me and I hug her back tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

* * *

That weekend, Jade constantly wanders through my thoughts. Her face, her voice, her smile, her laugh, all floating around in my head. My mind is on her and only her, to the point where I can't focus on anything else.

It's not right, and certainly not healthy. A week of being together and I already feel like I can't be without her. I'm addicted. And I think I'll go insane without her.


	13. the truth

**jade.**

On Sunday afternoon, I've just finished packing my stuff to go home when there's a knock on the door. Looking up, I see my dad leaning in through the doorway. "Jade, can we talk?"

"Okay," I grumble, zipping my suitcase. "What?" He exhales and comes in to sit on the bed. My lips press together tightly. I'm already feeling the tension in the air from his presence.

"I invited you here this weekend so we could spend some time together. You know, like old times."

I take a slow, deep breath. The old times he's talking about feel vague and distant. "So?"

"So," he continues, "We've barely spoken all weekend. I feel like my efforts have gone to waste."

I don't say anything. The last thing I'd want to do is "spend time" with him. "Oh," I say emotionlessly.

"Alright. I get it." He stands and starts to leave.

"What? What do you get?" I ask him when he's almost out the door, breaking the silence and causing him to stop and turn. "I don't think you 'get it' at all. Do you know what you put Mom through because of the divorce? What you put _me_ through? And you thought me staying here for one weekend would change that?" I finish and stand up, crossing my arms.

"I know it's easy for you to blame me - "

"I don't blame you because it's easier," I cut him off, "I blame you because it's _your fault._" The divorce wasn't mutual or expected. My mother was willing to do anything and everything to make their marriage work, but Dad wouldn't take any of it.

One late night a few days after he left is still permanently singed into my memory. I'd been passing my mom's room on the way back from the bathroom when the sound of sobs was coming from behind the door. And when I opened it to see, sure enough, Mom was sitting on the middle of her bed crying her eyes out. I've never seen someone so devastated. So... broken.

"Of course. That's what you want to believe." He shakes his head. "You don't know what happened."

_I know exactly what happened,_ I say mentally. "Why won't you just accept responsibility?"

"Your mother is the one who needs to accept responsibility."

My face becomes hot. "I can't believe you're so hung on keeping yourself from being guilty that you'd blame the victim."

A vein protrudes from his forehead. "Listen. You don't know the half of what happened, and I don't expect you to. You're just a girl."

"I'm seventeen."

"Same difference," he scoffs. "I understand you're hurt. I know it was hard for you and your mother, losing Alison and then having me leave your lives."

The tightness in my throat is accompanied by the sound of my heart pounding in my head. A wave of nausea overcomes me. We never talk about what happened to Aly. My stomach twists into knots just thinking about it. "Your point?" Is all I'm able to force out of my mouth, which has suddenly gone dry.

Not answering my question, he walks over with his hands in his pockets. "This is going to sound unbelievable and ridiculous. I'm not so sure I believe it myself, even after all this time."

"I'm listening."

"The reason we divorced is because..." His eyes penetrate deep into mine. "Your mother cheated on me."

Everything stops. I feel dizzy and lightheaded. "No. You're lying."

"I'm telling you the truth. It's your choice whether to believe me or not." He leaves me standing there, frozen from shock.

My mom, my own _mother_, the one person I love and trust more than anyone else in the world, lied to me. She told me the divorce was because Dad had changed, that he became disconnected from us, that he didn't love us anymore. If what Dad said is true... she's been feeding me lies all this time, doing nothing but trying to brainwash me into thinking of him as a bad person in order to cover for her mistake. Everything she said was a lie. It's unbelievable my mother would do something so conniving and selfish.

As surprising as it is that I managed to not raise my voice at all in that exchange, it's just as, if not more, that I kept my composure after what he said, even though on the inside I'm a ticking time bomb that's about to explode.

* * *

It takes everything I have to hold it in. Not a word is spoken on the car ride home; I don't even say goodbye when he drops me off.

But the moment I get inside, shutting and locking the door behind me, I drop my suitcase on the ground and scream as loud as I can, not stopping until I feel weak and breathless. My hands cover my face as I drop to my knees.

* * *

**tori.**

Startled when my phone suddenly rings, I'm jolted out of my sleep. My blanket falls to the floor after I kick it off and jump out of bed, grabbing the phone off my dresser and covering the speaker to muffle the loud noise. Jade's name in bold, white letters and a picture of us together illuminate the screen. My finger taps the answer button and I put the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Tori," Jade says on the other end. Her voice sounds choked and I can barely tell what she's saying through her sobs.

"What's going on?" I ask with a sense of urgency. I've already begun to put on my jacket and shoes.

There's nothing but sniffling and soft sobs on the other end for a while. "Can you come over?" she asks softly.

She didn't even need to ask. "I'll be right there."

* * *

"Oh my god," I whisper when I enter Jade's house. Sitting on the floor with her arms squeezing herself tightly, her hair drapes down over her face like a black silk curtain. Instinctively, I run over to her and wrap my arms around her. She turns into me and cries harder, leaning her head onto my shoulder. Although seeing her this upset makes me feel terrible, a strange calmness falls over me. Having her in my arms feels right. It's as if it's my job to protect her from anything that could hurt her.

Her crying begins to quiet, so I move her hair from in front of her face. She's looking at me with half-closed, bloodshot eyes. Probably best if I don't ask her about what happened quite yet. Also, she looks really tired. I move my arms so one's around her back and the other in the area where her knees bend, then pick her up. She's not as heavy as I expected, but I don't think I'll be able to carry her for too long. I make my way up the staircase, and at the top, push open the door to her room at the end of the catwalk.

Once there, I lay her down on her opulent, queen-sized bed that's dressed in deep red. Then, I pull up the soft blanket to cover her. She's already asleep, eyes closed and breathing slowed. I stand and watch her for a while as a smile pulls up the corners of my mouth. I could stay there and watch her all night long, but I know I should get going. Leaning forward, I stroke her hair and then plant a light kiss on her cheek. After that I pull back and look at her for a moment more. _I love you,_ I mouth silently. I start to leave, but a hand gently wraps around my wrist and I turn around.

"Wait," Jade says. "Please stay." Her single request is as soft as a whisper, and her hand makes my wrist feel warm and tingly, like an electrical current passing through it. A similar feeling of warmth fills my chest. It's impossible for me to say no. I kick off my shoes and slide my arms out my jacket, then climb into the bed and settle beside her.

Her eyes are already closing again by the time I lay down. She's really beautiful, even when she's asleep. I have a strong urge to reach up and trace her features with my fingers, but I know doing so would wake her up. Instead, I move closer to her and put my arms around her. I want to be as close to her as possible, so I know it's real, that this is really happening and it's not just a dream. As if to support the fact, Jade puts her arms around me as well. I feel my eyes getting watery. "I love you so much," I whisper. My eyes flutter closed, and I begin to drift off.

Just as I'm falling deeper into sleep, I swear I hear Jade whisper back, "I love you too."


	14. below the surface

**jade.**

My eyes open, reading 1:46 a.m. on the big analog clock hanging from high on the wall. It's dark, the only light coming from the streetlight gleaming through my window. I start to move, but hands wrapped around me keep me stationary, and my body freezes, until I remember it's only Tori. Laying back down as not to not wake her, I shift my position so we're face to face. She's sleeping peacefully; her mouth is open and her chest rises and falls with each breath.

"Tori," I say softly. I hadn't initially wanted to wake her up, but I'd prefer it to being alone. She takes her arms off me, rolls over and grumbles something.

My eyes roll and I get of of bed, then head downstairs. Going into the kitchen, I prepare a cup of coffee. I hear the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs when I've finished. "Jade," Tori's voice says behind me groggily.

"Morning, sleepyhead," I tease as I turn around to look at her.

"Morning? It's two o'clock."

"Close enough. Come sit." She obeys and sits in the chair immediately to my right. "Did you sleep well?"

She nods at me with a smile. I smile back.

It feels so natural. Everything's easier with her compared to the others I've dated. No fights, jealousy, false accusations. We're great together, and I hope that will never change.

Standing from my seat, I go and sit down on her lap, wrapping my arms around her neck. Her hands hesitantly float up to my waist. A grin appears on my face and I shake my head. "What's funny?" she questions.

"You shouldn't be afraid to touch me, you know."

"I-I'm not." A light blush colors her face. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Don't worry," I say, pulling a hand back to stroke her cheek. "I'm more comfortable with you than anyone else." There's a stutter in her breathing when I touch her. I love the effect I have on her; she gives in so easily, becoming completely controlled by me.

Leaning forward, I plant a kiss on her cheek, letting my mouth stay there for a while, barely touching her. Then, I glide my lips down, along her jawline, down her neck all the way to her collarbone. Tori shivers noticeably. With a chuckle I lean back to see her face. "You like that?"

Her eyes are wide, making her look like a puppy. She nods slowly.

"You're so submissive," I say, getting off her lap and gradually walking to the living room. "Why don't you put up a fight?"

"I don't know." Following me, she adds, "It's kinda hard to with someone so..." Her sentence trails off; I turn around to face her. She looks me up and down and bites her lip when her eyes meet mine.

"Sexy?" I finish, cocking an eyebrow and smirking at her.

"Well... I mean... You're not... _Not_ sexy?"

I laugh out loud. "Thanks. You're not not sexy either," I say jokingly. Noticing the dark circles under her eyes, I remember how late it is - or early, if you will. "You wanna go back to bed?"

"No, no. I'm fine." She rubs her eyes. "Hey, do you want to, um, do something?"

"Like?" I push away the first thought that enters my mind when she says that.

"Like... watch a movie?"

"Sure." I nod. "We have a movie theater downstairs."

Her jaw drops. "Really?"

"Yeah! Come on, I'll show you." I take her by the hand and lead the way.

* * *

**tori.**

The home theater looks exactly like a real movie theater, but smaller, even down to the dimming lights and huge screen. To make it even better, there's a popcorn machine right next to the row of seats. This is so cool.

"What movie do you want to watch?" My breathing returns to normal when she lets go of my hand and pulls a black container filled with movies out of the corner next to the screen. I go over to her and look through the movies.

"Titanic?"

Jade shakes her head. "Too sad."

"Hm..." I look some more. "The Notebook?"

"Ew, no way."

"Alright..." I pull out a third case. "The Scissoring?"

"Seen it a million times," she says. "Let me look." I step back and she rummages through the box. After a few moments, she pulls out a movie and turns to me with it behind her back, smiling widely.

"What movie is it?"

"You'll see," she answers. She then puts it in the DVD player and goes to the popcorn machine. I take a seat in one of the chairs. Within a few minutes, Jade brings over a bowl filled with popcorn and sits next to me.

The screen is black for a while, before the movie begins. It's a cartoon, I can tell that much. The underwater scenery looks familiar, but I can't my finger on what movie it is until the title appears on the screen: The Little Mermaid.

I look at Jade through the corner of my eye. She's watching the screen intently. "Thais is one of my favorites," she says. I'm a bit surprised. Jade's never struck me as the type to like movies like this. But I do like this film, so I don't say anything and reach into the bowl for some popcorn.

We don't speak; I can tell Jade's completely absorbed in the movie. I can't help but look at her every now and then to see her expression. Eventually, I begin drifting in and out of consciousness, only to be jolted awake when Jade lays her head my shoulder, and a warm, bubbly feeling spreads through me. It's impossible for me to focus on the movie at this point, which proves to not be a problem since it's almost over, at the point where Ariel and Prince Eric are getting married.

As the credits roll on the screen, Jade asks me, "Do you know the real story of The Little Mermaid?"

Shaking my head, I ask, "What is it?"

She takes her head off my shoulder and looks at me. "Well, like the movie, in the beginning the mermaid saves the prince from the storm and brings him to shore, then falls in love with him." I nod and she continues. "The mermaid's grandmother told her that humans have shorter lives than mermaids, and that their souls go to heaven when they die. She also said mermaids don't have souls, so when they die, they turn into sea foam and cease to exist.

"But the Mermaid wanted the Prince and a soul, so she sold her tongue to the sea witch for legs." She takes a deep breath. "Whenever she walked, it caused her intense pain, like swords going into her feet, and she'd only get a soul if she could get the Prince to love her.

"The prince thought she was beautiful and loved to watch her dance; he didn't know how hard it was for her. But she would dance for him anyway, so set on getting him to love her like she loved him. She never knew the Prince already had a wife chosen for him, who was a princess.

"When the Prince and the princess married, the mermaid was heartbroken. The sea witch said if she killed the Prince and let his blood get on her feet, she'd turn back into a mermaid and could live out the rest of her life in the sea. But she couldn't. She loved him too much. So she threw herself into the ocean and turned into sea foam. But her good deed of sparing his life let her have a soul, which went to heaven." By the time Jade's finished the story, the screen has already faded to black, and I can barely see her in the darkness.

I let it sink in. "That's such a sad and beautiful story."

Her hand touches mine in the dark. "Something about it really speaks to me," she says quietly, intertwining our fingers.

"What happened last night?" I ask suddenly, giving in to my curiosity.

I feel her grip on my hands tighten."It's... not really important. Let's just say I found out why my parents divorced."

We sit in the dark in silence for a long time before we get up and go back to her room.

"You know... I would have never expected this," I say, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her beside me.

"What?" She asks.

"Just... This. I never would have thought that you'd be such an amazing, down to earth person. That I'd ever be able to get through to you. That you'd love me, that we'd be together..." I lose myself in her eyes.

That perfect smile lights up her face, making my heart flutter. "Things never happen in the way you expect."


	15. contingence

**A/N: This chapter has... "stuff" in it, so skip it if you want.  
**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**tori.**

Jade's right. Nothing in this relationship has gone as I expected. Everything happens so fast, so abruptly, that I have no chance of keeping up, or predicting where we'll be next. I love it.

I love her.

I'm enveloped with warmth when her arms surround me in embrace. I wrap my arms around her tightly as well, pulling her close. Inhaling her scent, my eyes close and my chin rests on her shoulder. One hand rests on the small of her back and the other's between her shoulder blades. "Do you love me?" I ask softly.

"Of course I do."

"I know, but can you say it?"

Leaning back to look at me, eyebrows pulled together, she asks, "What's this about?"

"It's... It's nothing." I turn my gaze downwards and shake my head slightly. Jade never says she loves me. I overlook it most of the time, because I know in my heart that she does, but it would be nice to hear it every now and then. Even though she said she loved me last night, I was more than half asleep; it could have been nothing but a figment of my imagination.

When I look back up at her, my heart slips a beat at her beauty. It never gets easier seeing her face. She has one of my hands and is playing with my fingers. "What are you thinking about right now?" she questions.

"How beautiful you are," I blurt out unintentionally, followed by a blush.

A smile appears on her face. "You're just as beautiful." Reaching up with one hand, her fingers stroke my cheek. In a whispery choice, she adds, "Actually, more."

It's hard to breathe with her this close. My eyes wander to her lips. "Now what are you thinking about?" She asks me.

I bite the corner of my lip. "How much I want to kiss you right now."

That smirk. "Shut up and kiss me, then." She closes the gap between us by pressing our mouths together. Our lips move together rhythmically. As we kiss, my hand slides a few inches further down her back until it's on her rear. Realizing what I'm doing, I pull my hand away.

Jade separates her lips from mine. "Didn't I say to not be afraid to touch me?"

Nodding, I take a shaky breath and return my hands to their previous position. She deepens the kiss, her tongue battling mine, and I begin to feel lightheaded. She's an amazing kisser. Her lips move to my neck and a noise escapes my mouth; my body tenses and my grip on her gets tighter.

I'm weak as her kisses cover my neck. Each place her lips touch is left with a fierce burning sensation. If only she'd set my whole body on fire.

Our hands are all over each other during our fervent kissing session; each of us clinging to the other as if holding on for dear life. I can't handle having her body so near, but being restrained to only her lips. "Jade," I whisper breathlessly, almost pleading. "I want you."

Her icy gaze burns with lust. Not another word is spoken before we're tugging at each other's clothing, each trying to undress the other and keep our mouths together at the same time. Before I can do anything, she's removed both my shirt and pajama pants and tosses them to the floor. She then pushes me back so I'm laying on the bed, surprising me with the sudden action.

Her hands work their way over my body, making my heart beat as rapidly as the flutter of a hummingbird's wings. Placing one hand next to me on the bed, she cups my cheek with the other. Her fingertips trace a line along my collarbone. Continuing her way down, her hand stops on my breast. Although covered by the fabric of my bra, it gives me that same tingle I always feel when she touches me, and I'm sure she can feel my heart pounding by the way she looks up at me and grins. Her hand slides beneath me, unfastening the hook to my bra, and then she takes it off. I try to remember how to breathe when she caresses me, her hand light and nimble as it fondles with my breasts.

I shiver as her hand glides down my stomach all the way to my hips. She walks her fingers across my waist, stopping right above the place where I want her to go the most. Her hand lightly runs over my underwear, doing nothing for the unbearable throbbing underneath. It's becoming increasingly difficult to handle the tension between us.

Repositioning herself so she is right above the area between my legs, she plants a kiss on the inside of my thigh, making her way up and up, and I feel more moistness accumulate as my anticipation grows in intensity. One finger hooks in the waistband of my underwear and pulls them, sliding them down my legs and taking them off. My most private area is now exposed, but somehow, being completely stripped down to nothing in front of her assuages my discomfort. She strokes my inner thighs with both hands. A shudder passes through my body when her hand gives over that spot, but she pulls back. "Jade," I whine in protest.

"What's the magic word?" she asks in a singsong voice.

"Please," I beg.

Obeying, she takes two fingers and rubs around my entrance. My hips buck a little and I bite my lip. Ever so slowly, she slides them all the way in, eyes locked on my face the entire time to see my expression. She pulls out and then pushes in again, more forcefully this time. A moan escapes from me at the spike of pleasure. Her fingers move steadily in and out, my hips raising upwards towards her with each thrust. The noises coming from me increase in volume as she pumps faster and harder, intensifying the burning pleasure that electrifies my body.

I'm trembling when she stops, and I'm about to ask her why but she quickly replaces her hand with her mouth. At first, she sucks on my clit lightly, flicking it with her tongue dextrously. Then, her warm, soft, wet tongue penetrates me, racking my body with a pleasure I've never felt before. Her tongue twirls inside me like a dancer. My jaw is clenched and I feel myself reaching my limit; my hands clutch the sheets tightly as my eyes squeeze shut. Moments later, my entire body is overtaken with a powerful sensation and I feel every muscle in my body contract as I ride the waves of my orgasm.

It's more than pleasure; it's passion and sensuality and three years' worth of longing, and even more than that, it's love. The turbulent whirlwind of emotions I feel right now is ineffable.

But in a deep, dark corner of my mind, I can't help comparing it to how it felt with Trevor.

No, that was different. a different time, a different place, and very, very different circumstances.

Trevor raped me. That's something I'll never be able to get over. I thought he loved me. But no, he lied to me, then ripped away my innocence and left me naked, freezing, and hurt beyond words. He took away a part of me that I'll never get back.

Jade's soft caresses are completely opposite to his firm, bruising grips; her angelic voice is nothing like his deep, throaty growl. The sense of security I have when I'm with her and the mortal terror he made me feel are day and night. She treats me with a tenderness that he never did.

I come down from the climax and lay limply on the bed, catching my breath, and then my eyes open to Jade's smiling face. She leans in and kisses me; I can taste myself on her lips, but I don't care.

This is Jade. With her, I don't need to worry about being betrayed. What we have is real.

* * *

**A/N: Not my best work, but I put in effort. I'd say it's exceptional for a first attempt at writing a sex scene.**

**If you liked it, please review!**

**Or not, whatever floats your boat.**


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